


The Return of the King

by showmeyourtardis



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, First Time, Get Together, Jealousy, M/M, MINOR non-con elements, Minor Joseph Kavinsky/Adam Parrish, Minor Joseph Kavinsky/Ronan Lynch, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-07-05 11:23:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15862641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/showmeyourtardis/pseuds/showmeyourtardis
Summary: AU: Kavinsky LivesKavinsky comes back from his vacation in Bulgaria to fuck with Ronan. When he discovers Ronan's not so secret affections for Adam, he decides to steal Adam from him. Adam is not willing to be stolen, and Ronan is not willing to let him go. The problem is, Kavinsky always gets what he wants, and in this case, he wants Ronan Lynch.





	1. I'm Back, Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Kavinsky didn't die at the end of The Dream Thieves, he just went on a long vacation, okay? 
> 
> I also played with Kavinsky's character a bit and made his hidden feelings for Ronan much more overt.

Ronan was in The Barns when his phone buzzed. He had spent the day dreaming, feeding deer, and wasting time until Adam, Gansey, and Blue finished school and they could do something infinitely more fun than solve for X. His phone buzzed, and he looked at it out of instinct more than anything else. He thought it might be Gansey checking he was still alive, or maybe even Matthew seeing how his day was going.

But it was neither of them. It was someone Ronan had hoped had lost his number long ago.

_I’m back, baby. Did you miss me?_

Ronan frowned at his phone screen. What the hell was Kavinsky doing texting him? As far as Ronan was concerned, Joseph Kavinsky was dead. He’d thought the feeling was mutual. After the fourth of July disaster, Kavinsky had hopped on a flight to Bulgaria, leaving nothing but a half-empty bottle of vodka on the steps to Monmouth Manufacturing. Ronan’s phone buzzed again, Kavinsky had rightly guessed Ronan wasn’t going to reply.

_Did you just cum in your pants? I know you did._

Ronan shoved his phone unceremoniously into his pocket. Seeing Kavinsky’s texts made him want to leave The Barns, he suddenly felt exposed. He didn’t want Kavinsky’s filthy hands over this place. The chaos Kavinsky could wreak here would destroy Ronan.

He marched over the fields back to the main house. His phone buzzed against his thigh. He pulled it out, angry at himself for being intrigued.

_Stop sucking Dickdickdick off and answer me, bitch. Is there or isn’t there cum in your jeans? I have to know._

Almost as soon as Ronan finished reading the text another one came through. And then another, and another. Ronan wanted to throw his phone.

_I’m close baby, respond quick xox_

_I’m gonna cum Lynch, tell me if there’s a dick in your mouth._

_Fine, fuck you, you’re hotter in my imagination anyway._

Ronan realised he was heading home when he saw Chainsaw waiting for him on the bonnet of the BMW. He chucked his phone onto the back seat, in an attempt to ignore Kavinsky’s texts. His phone buzzed against the leather, Chainsaw hopped into the back seat to peck at it.

On the way home, he pushed the BMW faster than he had in a long time. His heart pounded in his chest, a dirty thrill ran down his spine, the BMW roared. He kept an eye out for a white Mitsubishi, but Kavinsky didn’t show his face.

“Kerah,” Chainsaw called.

Ronan turned his music up until it was pounding through the tyres and onto the road. It shook buildings as he passed, frightened dogs and children. His skin was burning, he could hear his phone buzzing from the back seat. He was alive.

He skidded into the car park outside Monmouth Manufacturing, slamming to a halt that sent his phone flying off the seat and upset Chainsaw. The Pig was nowhere to be seen. Gansey and Adam wouldn’t finish school for another ten minutes. Blue wouldn’t be free for another thirty.

Ronan grabbed his phone from where it had fallen under his chair. It buzzed constantly, vibrating through his hand and up his wrist. Chainsaw followed him out of the driver-side door and landed on his shoulder heavily. Her claws pinched lines in his t-shirt, she nipped at his earlobe.

At the door to Monmouth, Ronan found his first present from Kavinsky. A pink heart-shaped box sat outside the door. Someone had taken a black marker to the heart and drawn penises all over it. Ronan flipped the lid and the smell of expensive liquor assaulted his nose. Chocolates were arranged in the box, spelling the word _Bitch._

Ronan picked up the chocolate that acted as a dot for the _I._ When he bit into it, burning whiskey poured into his mouth.

Noah picked up a chocolate, “Is Kavinsky back?”

Ronan booted the heart down the stairs, scattering chocolates everywhere. Noah laughed and threw his chocolate forcefully at the wall.

“He’s back,” Ronan said, with a sharp smile.

“Oh no,” Noah said, his own smile disappeared. He began to blur at the edges, “Are you going to die?”

Ronan pulled Noah into the living room. He heard a familiar growl from outside. The Pig was back, bringing Gansey and maybe Adam with it. Ronan wanted to smash something, he wanted to race someone, he wanted to punch someone in the face. Noah looked at him with wide, frightened eyes. His skin was icy cold.

“Don’t let him kill you,” he said, before he disappeared completely.

Ronan looked at his suddenly empty hand, and threw himself onto the couch. He tried to settle his racing heart, easing his face into a mask of indifference.

When Gansey and Adam came upstairs, Ronan had contorted himself into something a little more controlled. His phone was still buzzing when he turned it off. Gansey rubbed a thumb over his lower lip and hooked his bag neatly over the back of his desk chair. His face was perplexed and concerned.

Adam stood by the couch expectantly until Ronan sat up and made room for him. Their shoulders bumped together, Ronan’s heart stopped.

“Ronan, what’s with the chocolates all over the stairs?” Gansey asked, plucking a mint leaf off his plant and popping it into his mouth.

“Noah got a little excited,” Ronan said with a shrug.

Noah manifested beneath the pool table and stuck his tongue out. The temperature in Monmouth dropped considerably. Ronan flipped him off in return.

Gansey folded his arms over his chest, “There were some interesting rumours today.”

Ronan shared a look with Adam, “I didn’t know Richard Campbell Gansey the Third listened to gossip.”

“Are you going to tell me what you know or keep being a dick?” Gansey asked with a sigh. He wasn’t mad, he genuinely wanted to know if he should keep trying to talk to Ronan or not.

Ronan flipped him off in response. Adam smirked. When Gansey pinned him with a disapproving look, Adam pretended he didn’t find Ronan hilarious.

“Ask a stupid question,” Adam shrugged.

“Ronan, if Kavinsky’s back from Bulgaria then we need to protect Cabeswater,” Gansey began to worry. Ronan could see the gears ticking in his head. The real impact of Kavinsky’s return settling on his shoulders. He worried at his lower lip. “We need to protect _you._ ”

“I can handle Joseph Kavinsky,” Ronan spat.

“Really?” Gansey pulled out his phone and brandished it at Ronan, “Because he’s texted me 46 times today, and each one just says _Ronan better watch his back_.”

“I always watch my back,” Ronan said.

Adam found Ronan’s phone and turned it back on. It immediately buzzed in his hand making him flustered. Ronan smirked. Adam read through the texts. His eyebrows shot halfway up his forehead, pink splotches appeared on his cheeks. Ronan barked out a laugh.

“What do they say?” Gansey asked. When Adam sucked in a breath, he sighed, “Do I even want to know?”

“I don’t think so,” Adam said. He read a text aloud anyway, “I’ll dream up a strap-on for you and Ganseyboy. It’s up to you who takes and who gives.”

“Good god,” Gansey said, pushing away from the desk. He snatched the phone out of Adam’s hand, and scrolled through the texts, “These are disgusting. Does he have nothing better to do?”

Ronan shrugged. Frankly, he didn’t care what Kavinsky spent his time doing. The thrill of seeing his name on his phone had passed, and now Ronan was already bored of Kavinsky’s games. He knew how they ended.

“He’ll get bored soon,” Ronan said, lounging on the couch again. He sank down to rest his head on the couch arm, and stretched his legs across Adam’s lap. Adam protested, but Ronan spoke over him, “He’ll say some homophobic shit, send me something from his dreams, and then get angry when I ignore him. It’ll be over before Noah’s cleaned the chocolate off the stairs.”

“I didn’t throw them!” Noah whined.

“I don’t care,” Ronan said in the exact same tone. He looked at Gansey, “I can handle Joseph Kavinsky.”

Gansey looked at him for a beat, and then shared a look with Adam that made Ronan jealous. Adam shrugged and lifted Ronan’s leg to scratch his knee. Gansey pulled his glasses off, pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed. He suddenly looked so much older than he was, like an ancient King in the body of a teenager.

“Fine, but if things get out of control again, you tell us this time.” Gansey’s voice was firm and left no room for disagreement. He narrowed his eyes at Ronan, “And if you touch the Pig, I will give your new phone number to Declan.”

Ronan shot him a salute, and Gansey rolled his eyes. He chucked the phone back at Ronan and it landed on his chest. It vibrated violently over his heart.


	2. Reunion

Ronan opened his eyes to Cabeswater when he fell asleep. He didn’t have anything to dream, he just wanted to be somewhere familiar. The sun flitted through the leaves and sparkled on the top of a pond. Adam sat besides Ronan, his trousers rolled up, with his feet under the water.

It wasn’t the real Adam, and Ronan could tell. His hair shone too brightly, his freckles were a little too prominent, his head rested on Ronan’s shoulder. Still, Ronan didn’t care. This impossibly perfect Adam was better than the indifferent, cruel Adam that used to haunt his dreams.

Ronan kicked off his boots and socks, and shoved his feet into the pond. It was the perfect temperature, the rocks beneath his feet weren’t slimy like he’d expected. The water soaked the bottom of his jeans, and Adam sighed dreamily.

Ronan was happy. He was at peace. He rested his head on top of Adam’s, and let his eyes drift closed.

“Holy shit,” Kavinsky’s voice cut through the sun-dappled dream like a hot knife.

Ronan scowled and cracked his eyes open. Kavinsky was sat on the opposite side of the pond, grinning like he’d just been given the best gift ever. It was too late for Ronan to bother hiding, Kavinsky had already seen his secret. There was no way to misinterpret Adam’s head on Ronan’s shoulder, or Ronan’s hand on his knee. Ronan reluctantly pulled his head away from Adam.

Kavinsky looked the same as always, like he’d walked straight out of Ronan’s nightmares. He had his token white sunglasses on, Ronan couldn’t see any dreamt imperfections. His chain sparkled around his neck, resting on his collar bones. His skin was tanned, it made his teeth unnaturally white.

Dream Adam watched Kavinsky with a look that used to be reserved for Ronan. His mouth was pulled into the straight line of indifference, his eyes were cold and uninterested. Ronan wished he could mirror the expression, but he couldn’t.

“This isn’t what I expected you to dream about,” Kavinsky said. His lip curled at Adam.

“What the fuck do you want?” Ronan spat. The water swirled around his ankles, it was a lot colder than it had been a moment ago.

Kavinsky pressed a hand to his chest in mock offence, “I’ve been gone for months and that’s all you say to me? No _hello_? No _how was Bulgaria_? No _let me choke on your dick_?”

“Fuck you,” Ronan said.

Kavinsky threw a stone into the pond, splashing cold water over Ronan and Adam. “I came to see what you were dreaming of without me. I was expecting you on your knees in front of Dick, not Adam Parrish looking so ruined.”

Ronan looked at Adam properly for the first time. He did look ruined, gloriously ruined. Ronan’s mind had conjured Adam in his Aglionby Uniform. Instead of his usual pristine look, though, he wore his uniform raggedly. His shirt was untucked, sticking out from under his jumper. His tie was loose around his open collar. His sleeves were pushed up to his elbows unevenly.

In short, he wore his uniform like Ronan had, and it suited him. It made Ronan want to push him into the dirt and mess up his uniform even more.

“Fuck off,” Ronan told Kavinsky, looking away from Adam.

Kavinsky stood up and circled the edge of the pond. He crouched down by Adam, who merely arched a disdainful eyebrow at the intruder. Kavinsky reached for Adam’s face. Ronan made Adam disappear, Cabeswater took him away before Kavinsky’s hands could sully him.

“I wanted to play, too,” Kavinsky said.

“Fuck off,” Ronan said, again.

“Think about the fun we could have.” Kavinsky slipped into the space Adam had left. He ran a hand over the back of Ronan’s head, his fingers tracing the shape of his skull. He dipped his head close to Ronan’s ear, “Me, you, Parrish. An angel in a three-way with two devils. If you ask nicely, I’ll let you be the angel.”

Ronan shoved Kavinsky away and stood up. He shoved his wet feet back into his boots. When he marched off, he was disappointed to hear Kavinsky get up to chase him. They walked through Cabeswater side-by-side. The sun disappeared in Kavinsky’s wake.

“So, when you said it wasn’t Gansey, you really meant it, huh?” Kavinsky mused. His question didn’t want an answer, so Ronan didn’t respond. “I’ve gotta say, I never would have guessed Parrish had his hooks in you. I’m disappointed, actually. I thought you’d go for someone a little less boring.”

“Fuck. Off.” Ronan shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Are you stuck on repeat?” Kavinsky pushed Ronan roughly, making him stumble. He grinned at Ronan’s glare, “Did Adam take your tongue with him?”

“Seriously,” Ronan stopped and rounded on him, “what the fuck do you want?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Kavinsky asked. He seized Ronan’s shoulders and pulled him close, “I want the fucking world and everyone in it.”

“Tough shit,” Ronan shook Kavinsky off.

“I always get what I want, Lynch.” Kavinsky flicked his sunglasses down his nose, Ronan caught the flash of fire in his eyes, “I’ll start with Parrish.”

“Like fuck you will,” Ronan lunged for Kavinsky but he’d already gone.


	3. The Wandering Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to put a warning on this chapter, there is some sexual assault. It is not as bad as it could be, but it is still sexual assault. Be warned and exit this fic if you don't like it.

Adam knew who was at his door by the violent barrage of knocking. He finished writing the last sentence of his Geography homework with one hand, and pulled on his trainers with the other. Ronan’s knocking at his door got increasingly violent the longer he waited. He had just started knocking the beat to the Murder Squash song when Adam yanked the door open.

“I was almost at the chorus,” Ronan scowled.

“I didn’t even know that song had a chorus.” Adam realised his mistake when Ronan cleared his throat. He pushed past Ronan and down the stairs, “Never mind! Never mind!”

Ronan laughed and jogged to catch up with him. The two of them left St. Agnes in silence, thankfully Ronan kept his mouth shut. The Pig was humming impatiently. Gansey, Blue, and Noah were already inside. Noah was saying something that was making Gansey’s brow furrow in confusion.

Ronan took his place in the front seat, and Adam squeezed in beside Noah.

“Hi, Adam,” Blue said. To Noah, she said, “I don’t think that’s a good business model.”

“What would you know about business models?” Ronan asked.

“More than you,” Blue said, matching Ronan’s acidic tone.

Ronan smirked at her, and Blue matched the look. The two of them were becoming more alike with each passing day, it was a little eerie.

Gansey set off. According to the clock on the dashboard, Blue was one hour and forty minutes late for work. According to Adam’s watch however, they still had ten minutes before her shift at Nino’s started.

“Adam, what do you think?” Noah asked, a hint of a whine creeping into his voice.

“About what?”

“My new business idea,” Noah said. He twisted in his seat to press his face close to Adam’s. When Adam jerked his head back and hit the window, Noah remembered that the living liked their space. He frowned apologetically, “An ice cream van that sells ice cream in the summer, but waffles in the winter.”

“Waffles?” Adam asked, rubbing his head, “Why waffles?”

“Everyone likes waffles!”

“But winter waffles?” Gansey asked, “Is that a thing?”

“It’s not a thing,” Blue said.

“It could be a thing, though!” Noah protested. “Ronan, you like winter waffles, right?”

“Ronan doesn’t like anything,” Blue answered before Ronan could open his mouth, earning herself a glare, “and waffles aren’t a winter food.”

“Fine,” Noah pouted, “What would you have?”

“Hot chocolate, obviously.” Ronan made a gagging noise from the front and Blue narrowed her eyes at the back of his head, “Problem?”

“Hot chocolate is disgusting,” Ronan said.

“Adam, hot chocolate is better than waffles, right?” Blue asked.

Adam wrinkled his nose, “No. Ronan’s right, hot chocolate is disgusting.”

“But it’s still more of a winter food than waffles,” Blue said, folding her arms across her chest.

Gansey rubbed his thumb across his lower lip, “Why doesn’t the ice cream van just sell ice cream in winter?”

Ronan, Adam, Blue, and Noah stared at him. Gansey glanced at Ronan, and then at Adam, Blue, and Noah in the rear-view mirror.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s fucking cold in winter,” Ronan said, like Gansey had suddenly morphed into a stupid two year-old.

“All right,” Gansey said, lifting one shoulder in a shrug, “Hot chocolate it is.”

Adam and Ronan groaned, Blue grinned triumphantly, and Noah launched into a speech about why waffles were more wintery than hot chocolate.

His speech was abruptly cut off when a car bumped the back of the Pig. Gansey gasped and flicked his gaze into the rear-view mirror. Adam and Blue twisted in their seats to see who had hit them. A white Mitsubishi was inches away from the back of the Pig. Kavinsky revved his engine loudly and pulled into the lane next to them.

He didn’t seem worried about oncoming traffic as he signalled for Ronan to lower his window.

Ronan, the picture of surly disinterest, rolled down his window. Kavinsky threw a shiny box into Ronan’s lap. It was about the size of Gansey’s mobile phone, and coloured a shiny black. A raven outlined in silver was stamped on the front, a tiny gold crown adorned its head.

“Open it,” Kavinsky shouted over the Camaro’s engine.

Ronan’s shoulders were a lot more tensed than they had been a moment ago. He opened the box, and pulled out a string of condoms.

“Good god, are they condoms?” Gansey asked.

Ronan shoved them back in the box and rolled up the window without looking at the Mitsubishi. Kavinsky was grinning like a madman, the reflection of the Camaro’s orange paint was visible in his sunglasses.

He gestured to Ronan, and twisted his hand while mouthing the words, “Turn it over.”

Ronan did. He shot a look at Kavinsky that must’ve been a glare because Kavinsky’s laugh was audible over the Pig’s thunderous engine. He jerked the Mitsubishi in front of the Camaro and braked hard, forcing Gansey to slam on his brakes. Adam was flung forward, caught by his seatbelt. Blue gasped, Ronan clutched the dash. Noah had disappeared completely.

Kavinsky sped off, scattering gravel at the Pig. Gansey restarted the engine, muttering with concern when it resisted.

“Asshole,” Ronan spat.

He was still holding the box of condoms. Adam felt a hot ball of jealousy form in his chest. He slumped back in his seat, rubbing the space on his chest where the seatbelt had dug in. He didn’t know how to feel about Kavinsky being back, and he sure as hell didn’t know how to feel about Kavinsky giving Ronan _condoms._ He hoped the gift wasn’t Kavinsky’s way of asking Ronan out.

What else could they mean, though?

What could possibly make Joseph Kavinsky dream a pack of condoms specifically for Ronan?

Adam frowned when he couldn’t think of an answer. The Pig started just as a shiny Porsche beeped at them and sped past. Gansey waved a hand in apology, and they set off for Nino’s again. Blue was going to just scrape into her shift at this rate.

“What does it say on the back?” she asked, reaching for the condoms.

Ronan yanked his hand out of her reach, holding the condoms as far away from her as possible, “Sargent, you’re too young to look at these.”

“I’m the same age as you,” Blue pointed out.

“You lose three years because you’re so short,” Ronan shoved the condoms into the glove box.

Gansey pulled into Nino’s car park, and Blue jumped out before he could find a parking space. She couldn’t afford to be late. Ronan, Gansey, and Adam took their time getting out of the Pig. Noah never came back, and Adam didn’t get chance to find out what was written on the back of the condom box.

Once settled in their usual booth, Blue brought them their usual order of three coke’s and two pizzas to share. Technically, this was Adam’s breakfast since he didn’t have any food in his apartment, at least until his next pay-day. He tried to keep some manners about him as he ate, but his hunger eventually overtook.

The door opened and Kavinsky walked in. Ronan narrowed his eyes, his interest in the pizza disappearing. Adam tried to keep his face neutral, but he felt like his jealousy was visible. He felt like he was wearing a neon shirt with the words _I have a crush on Ronan Lynch_ stamped on the front.

Kavinsky slid into the booth next to Adam, pushing right up against him. Adam shuffled further down in the booth, Kavinsky followed. Adam shifted until he was caught between Gansey and Kavinsky, and could shift no more. Gansey didn’t seem to mind the sudden lack of personal space. Adam felt caged.

“What are you doing back, Kavinsky?” Gansey asked. His voice was polite but the anger in his eyes betrayed his true feelings.

Kavinsky smiled at Ronan, “I missed you guys, I missed the fun we used to have.”

“What fun would you be referring to?” Gansey asked.

Kavinsky’s hand landed on Adam’s knee. Adam’s spine snapped straight. Ronan flicked his gaze from Kavinsky to Adam and then back again. His eyes were black with fury. Adam couldn’t bring himself to swipe Kavinsky’s hand off his knee. He knew Kavinsky just wanted a reaction, he didn’t want to give him one. Adam placed his hands on the table, trying to look relaxed and unbothered by the intruding hand on his knee.

“You know,” Kavinsky said, tilting his head at Gansey, “blowing up cars, kidnapping siblings, almost dying in a monster fight. The usual.”

“Of course,” Gansey said. He took a sip of his drink.

Kavinsky’s hand inched up Adam’s knee and onto his thigh. Adam’s hands clenched on the table, Kavinsky’s teeth were pearly white in his smile. Ronan watched Adam’s hands. Adam forced himself to relax. Kavinsky only wanted his reaction, he’d get bored if Adam ignored him.

Blue walked over to the table. Adam watched the flash of recognition on her face. There was a moment where she visibly regretted approaching their table, and it was obvious by the way she tilted away, like she was planning on running off at any moment. Kavinsky’s hand crept higher, Adam squirmed.

“Want anything else?” Blue asked, not looking at Kavinsky.

“I’ll take an iced water, sweetheart, and whatever Adam wants,” Kavinsky said. He flashed her a lascivious grin, which seemed to make her want to throw up.

“I don’t want anything, Blue,” Adam said. His voice was quieter than he intended, drowned out by Kavinsky’s hand which was now halfway up his thigh and edging ever higher.

“Blue? Blue? _Blue?”_ Kavinsky asked. Each time he said her name, Blue winced. He twisted to look at Adam, “You know this bitch?”

There was a horrible moment where the air seemed to disappear from Nino’s. Blue froze, Gansey choked on his drink. Adam’s mouth fell open but he couldn’t speak. Ronan leaned slowly across the table towards Kavinsky.

His voice was eerily calm, “Don’t call her a bitch.”

Blue looked at Ronan in surprise. Gansey shut his own mouth. Ronan had come to Blue’s defence before he had, that was going to eat him up inside for the rest of the week.

“You know her, too?” Kavinsky asked, turning to face Ronan. He leaned forward too, bringing his face closer to Ronan’s. His hand tightened on Adam’s thigh. “Is she your group whore or something? Gansey, man, I didn’t know you paid for that shit. Ronan, I certainly didn’t think _you_ paid for that.”

“You’re a disgusting little rat,” Blue said. She turned and left without looking at any of them.

Adam felt sorry for her. He was so abruptly sick of Kavinsky that it was almost a violent reaction, like his body wanted to vomit away his presence. He wanted Kavinsky to go back to Bulgaria, and never come back. A dark part of him wished Kavinsky had died at his fourth of July party, that his own monster had murdered him. He tried to shake away the thought before it took root.

“She wasn’t very nice, huh?” Kavinsky eased back into his seat. He looked at Gansey. Adam squirmed under his touch. “Your money can buy better. I know a guy, I’ll hook you up.”

“If you think for one second-”

Ronan interrupted Gansey, “K, outside.”

Kavinsky grinned with satisfaction. He was the cat that had caught the canary. And that canary was Ronan. All of this – humiliating Blue, insulting Gansey, assaulting Adam – had been to get Ronan’s attention, and it had worked. Adam was just a pawn on Kavinsky and Ronan’s chessboard. His ears tinged pink with shame.

“Is daddy gonna punish me?” Kavinsky asked.

Ronan shoved out of the booth, “For fucks sake, get outside.”

“Finally, a firm hand!” Kavinsky leaned close to Adam. He was sat on Adam’s hearing side, which meant Adam heard him clearly when he whispered, “Isn’t it hot, Adam?”

“Fuck off,” Adam said, but there was no anger in it. It sounded a lot like a surrender.

Kavinsky removed his hand, and shot off a fake salute to Gansey. Ronan stormed out of Nino’s, forcing an older couple to leap out of his way lest he run them down. Kavinsky sauntered after him, without a care in the world.

“I hate him,” Noah said, materialising in Ronan’s empty seat.

The feeling was mutual, for everyone except Ronan, apparently. Adam’s shoulders slumped. He’d lost his appetite.

* * *

Ronan never came back. By the time Blue finished her shift, Adam could almost forget the feel of Kavinsky’s hand on him. In the car park, there was no white Mitsubishi in sight. Ronan had been whisked away on some drug-fuelled adventure.

Gansey, Blue, and Adam all wore matching frowns. Gansey’s was a frown of worry, reminiscent of a parent’s frown at a rebellious teenager. Blue’s was lined with fury, but it was overwhelmingly a frown of humiliation. Her cheeks were still red from Kavinsky’s cruel words.

Adam’s frown was an embarrassing thing. He couldn’t keep it off his face. The harder he tried to keep his face neutral, the deeper his frown became. His frown was a secret, a truth he didn’t want to admit to anyone. Adam was jealous of Kavinsky. Adam wanted to be the one to covet Ronan, to keep him for himself.

“Want me to drop you at home?” Gansey asked, in a way that made it clear he didn’t want to do that.

“Yeah,” Blue slipped into the front seat without another word.

Gansey frowned harder. When Adam got into the back seat, Noah was already there. He looked at Adam with wide eyes.

“Is Ronan going to die?” he asked. Adam sucked in a breath.

“I don’t know,” Gansey admitted, starting the Pig.


	4. The Endless Road

Ronan spent the rest of the day with Matthew. After watching Kavinsky’s car leave Nino’s car park, he decided he couldn’t be bothered facing Gansey’s lecture, and Blue’s angry face, and Adam’s discomfort. So he walked to Matthew’s dorm instead.

The two of them spent the day in the park, doing nothing. Ronan looked violently unapproachable as he sat on the back of the bench, his feet up on the seat. Matthew smiled at every passing old lady like it was his sworn duty.

Ronan tried to find a way to tell Matthew that Kavinsky was back, but every time he started, Matthew thought of something more interesting to talk about. By the time the sun began to set, Ronan hadn’t told him and Matthew’s friends came to pick him up.

Ronan walked back to Monmouth. Gansey was still awake when he walked in. He was sat at his desk, and he turned to face Ronan when the door opened. His leg bounced up and down with nervous energy.

“Are you drunk?” he asked, pulling his glasses off and cleaning them vigorously with the hem of his top. “On drugs?”

Ronan walked in a perfectly straight line along the edge of the paper Henrietta model. He recounted the alphabet backwards and then flipped Gansey off.

“Sober as hell,” he said.

Unimpressed, Gansey said, “Where have you been?”

“With Matthew.”

“I saw you leave with Kavinsky,” Gansey said, pinning Ronan with a serious look.

“And then he left alone. Ring Matthew if you don’t believe me.”

Gansey wouldn’t call Matthew. He knew Ronan never lied, which is how he knew his next question would be answered truthfully.

“Are you going to die?”

“No.”

Gansey stood up. His energy was too frantic to stay contained on his desk chair. He paced around the Henrietta model, studying the roofs for any obvious flaws. Gansey rounded the corner of the town. Ronan didn’t get out of the way, and Gansey was forced to stop.

“Look, you can be friends with Kavinsky, I’m not going to tell you not to be,” Gansey straightened his green polo, his forehead wrinkled with stress, “But please, don’t do anything stupid. You almost died last time.”

“I’m never stupid,” Ronan said.

Gansey frowned, and continued earnestly, “Seriously, I can’t watch you die. I can’t watch you fall apart under Kavinsky’s hands. Please, _please,_ if you’re going to do something reckless just tell me, and I’ll tie you down. Or Adam will kidnap you and take you to The Barns. Please, _just tell me.”_

Ronan decided not to tell Gansey that Adam kidnapping him wouldn’t be a punishment. Gansey’s eyes were underlined with dark smudges. He needed to go to sleep. He needed to stop worrying about Ronan.

“I’m not going to die,” Ronan said, honestly, “It’s not like last time.”

“Good,” Gansey said. He nodded his head. Ronan never lied. Again, Gansey said, “Good.”

* * *

Ronan didn’t dream of Cabeswater. He tried to dream of something that even Kavinsky couldn’t sully. He ended up in St. Agnes. It was an unfortunate coincidence that the purest place Ronan knew was also Adam’s home. He bowed his head in a prayer that seemed to be coming from the stained glass windows. Matthew was to his left, and Declan was to his right. Everything was quiet and clean.

“This is boring,” Kavinsky’s voice came from the pew behind Ronan. Ronan didn’t lift his head, he focused on the prayer. Kavinsky’s fingers brushed down his neck, sending a shiver down his spine, “When do we get to the part where you suck Adam’s dick?”

Silence descended on the church. Ronan lifted his head to find everyone staring at him. Matthew looked confused, Declan looked furious. The other church-goers looked disgusted, horrified, angry. Ronan’s heart jumped at the words _Adam’s dick._

“Fuck off,” Ronan said.

The church emptied when Ronan thought it. He walked out of the pew and out of the church. The doors didn’t lead to the church car park, they lead to a never-ending road. Fields stretched off from either side, spreading in every direction. They were in the middle of nowhere.

Kavinsky was stood in the middle of the road, Ronan faced him from the edge.

“Don’t you have anywhere better to spend your dreaming?” Ronan asked, kicking a loose stone at Kavinsky.

“I like watching you and Adam. It’s free porn in the exact category I’m into.”

Ronan walked down the road, unsurprised when Kavinsky joined him. The sky was an infinite white, covered completely in cloud. The sun was nowhere to be seen. As they walked, the road became more and more cracked. Cigarette butts, empty beer bottles, and empty pill packets were scattered along the road verge. Ronan stepped over the black lines left by a car’s tyres long ago.

“Aren’t you going to ask what category that is?” Kavinsky asked.

“No.”

“It’s gay twinks fumbling and cumming in their jeans before they even get to second base,” Kavinsky grabbed Ronan’s hand.

Ronan yanked his hand free, “Eat shit.”

“I’m not into fetish stuff,” Kavinsky kicked a beer bottle down the road. The sound echoed forever.

“Adam’s not here,” Ronan said, gesturing pointlessly, “You can go dream up some perversion of him on your own.”

The thought of Kavinsky dreaming up a version of Adam made Ronan’s chest ache. The result would be horrific.

“Hm… That gives me an idea...” Kavinsky grabbed Ronan’s shoulders and pressed his lips to the sharp edge of his tattoo.

Ronan shoved him off, Kavinsky laughed aggressively.

“Don’t you want to hear my idea?” he asked, walking backwards in front of Ronan.

Ronan could see his reflection in the sunglasses, it glared back at him.

“Does it involve dreaming up a version of me and a version of Adam, and making them bend to your fucking perverted ideas?”

“Yes.”

“Then no, I don’t want to hear it.”

Kavinsky stopped, forcing Ronan to stop, too. “You used to be fun, Ronan.”

Ronan woke up in his bed, his jaw ached from clenching his teeth so hard. He wanted to check on Adam, but he didn’t have a phone. Ronan knew an impromptu visit at two in the morning would only serve to make Adam angry.

Chainsaw joined him on the bed. Ronan yanked his headphones on and turned his music all the way up. He tried to drown out the look of discomfort on Adam’s face as Kavinsky’s hand inched up his thigh. Ronan had read what was happening in Kavinsky’s shiny grin. It made him sick. Kavinsky was starting to get to him.


	5. Focus

Adam couldn’t focus. His head was too loud to think about what needed fixing on the car in front of him. Cabeswater was urging him to ditch work and help it. It needed some stones rearranged, it needed it’s power diverted for something. Cabeswater bombarded him with images – a dam blocking the flow of a river, a small circuit Adam had once built for science class, someone digging a trench by a stream, and then, more confusingly, Ronan.

Adam blinked rapidly and the image of Ronan left his head. He couldn’t understand what Cabeswater wanted from him right now. He needed to scry, but before then he needed to finish his shift. He picked up a wrench and looked into the bonnet of the car. He couldn’t remember what he was supposed to be doing here, or if he was even supposed to be under the bonnet.

It wasn’t just Cabeswater distracting him, it was Ronan. It was Kavinsky’s hand on his thigh, and Ronan ditching them for Kavinsky. It was the knowledge that he’d been shoved aside now Kavinsky was back.

Had he ever been Ronan’s first choice? Or was Kavinsky always one step above him?

Adam wasn’t a dreamer. He wasn’t a racer, or a druggie, or a criminal. He wasn’t Ronan’s type. He would never be Joseph Kavinsky.

Stupidly, he’d thought Ronan liked him. Maybe he’d misinterpreted all of those looks, the exclusive smiles that belonged to the two of them, the purposeful way Ronan bumped their shoulders together. He’d thought it was only a matter of time until one of them was brave enough to do something.

“Adam!”

Adam cracked his head on the car bonnet in response to his colleague’s voice. Tony stood in the doorway to the office, watching Adam rub the back of his head.

He looked pointedly at his watch, “You finished? I wanted to head off early.”

“No, I-” Adam looked at the car. He sighed, “Nah, I’ll finish this up and then go.”

“Oh… kay,” Tony said. He tilted his mouth, and shifted from foot to foot, “Are you cool to lock up then? I wanted to get off early today.”

“It’s fine,” Adam said. And it was. He preferred working alone, especially when Cabeswater was being so demanding. He couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t enlist the shadows on the wall to get it’s point across, and it was better if Tony were too far away to witness.

“Cool,” Tony disappeared back into the office to pack up.

Adam tried to keep Ronan out of his head, but it was impossible. He couldn’t tell if it was Cabeswater or just his own head betraying him. He thought of Ronan racing up the road to The Barns, of him pushing him in a shopping trolley and sending them both crashing to the floor, of his knuckles brushing the back of Adam’s hand by accident.

Each good memory was punctuated with an image of Kavinsky though. There was a dark portion of Adam’s head that wondered how much of Ronan Kavinsky had seen. The thought of Kavinsky seeing portions of Ronan that Adam would never be privy to made his mood worsen.

“Adam!” Adam banged his head against the car bonnet again. Tony looked vaguely apologetic this time, “Someone’s here for ya.”

Tony left through the front door, but didn’t lock it behind him. Adam rubbed the oil off his hands. A shadowed figure appeared in the doorway. Adam squinted in the dim light of the garage. He was stood by the only lamp, leaving the rest of the garage shadowed. He realised that he didn’t even know what time it was, but from the fading light outside he could tell it was getting late.

“Ronan?” Adam asked.

The shadowed figure laughed, “Afraid not.”

Adam’s entire body tensed at Kavinsky’s voice. Now that he’d heard his voice, the figure was clearly Kavinsky and not Ronan. He was shorter and thicker than Ronan. He wore his snapback hat, and that alone should’ve given away the fact that it wasn’t Ronan.

“What do you want?” Adam asked, rudely. To emphasize his unhappiness, he slammed the bonnet of the car down loudly.

“This is where you work,” Kavinsky said. He stepped closer to Adam, entering the circle of light and becoming more real. Cabeswater shivered inside Adam’s head, he steadied himself on the car.

“What do you want?” Adam repeated. He couldn’t see Kavinsky’s eyes behind his sunglasses but he had the distinct impression he was being sized up.

He knew he’d fall short of whatever scale Kavinsky was measuring him against. Adam glanced down at his oil-stained overalls, his scuffed trainers, the smell of gasoline leached into his clothes. He looked like what he was – a poor boy badly masquerading as someone worth spending time on.

By comparison, Kavinsky was the very picture of youthful money. He wore a pure-white vest top, dark jeans, worn trainers that still managed to look more expensive than Adam’s entire being. His gold chain sparkled around the column of his neck. Adam sucked in a breath. There was a love bite on Kavinsky’s neck, bruised and violently explicit.

The image of Ronan scraping his teeth down Kavinsky’s throat filled Adam’s head. Sickness pooled in his stomach.

So that was what they’d got up to yesterday after ditching Nino’s. Kavinsky’s hand on Adam’s thigh had been a starter, and Ronan’s mouth on Kavinsky’s neck had been the main course.

Adam didn’t want to know what dessert had been.

Kavinsky tilted his neck, exposing the love bite to the light, knowing Adam had seen. The thought of Ronan’s mouth on Adam’s neck flashed through Adam’s head, but it was gone before Kavinsky could see.

“Want to get some food?” Kavinsky asked, peering into the driver-side window of a Porsche, “I’m fucking starving.”

“What?” Adam asked, rooted to the spot as Kavinsky wandered around the garage. His mind was still stumbling over the thought of Ronan’s mouth.

“Pizza? But you had that yesterday. We could get burgers.”

Adam stared at him. Kavinsky looked up at the silence and grinned at Adam.

“I promise not to bite you,” he said. He flashed a wolfish smile, “Unless you want it. Don’t be ashamed, you wouldn’t be the first to ask.”

Heat curled in Adam’s chest. He focused on trying to rid the stubborn oil from his thumb.

“Fuck off, Kavinsky,” Adam said, coolly. His voice managed to stay controlled and calm even as his heart worked up a storm in his chest.

Kavinsky laughed, “Ronan’s really had an impact on you.”

He headed to the door. Adam knew he wasn’t going to get any work done now. He followed Kavinsky out into the darkening evening. Kavinsky had parked the Mitsubishi right up against the back of Adam’s car. The clean white paint of Kavinsky’s car made Adam’s multicoloured Shitbox look even worse.

Kavinsky turned suddenly and Adam found himself caught between Kavinsky and the door to the garage. Kavinsky’s head tilted down. Behind his sunglasses, his gaze was devouring Adam. For one terrifying moment, Adam thought Kavinsky was going to press his mouth to his throat.

Instead, Kavinsky just said, “See you around, Parrish.”

He got into the Mitsubishi and peeled out of the car park. Adam stayed pressed against the garage door for longer than necessary. He couldn’t stop seeing the love bite on Kavinsky’s neck, he couldn’t stop wondering how it felt to have Ronan’s teeth scrape the exposed length of his throat.

It was late, but Kavinsky had made Adam shaky. He couldn’t postpone his Cabeswater work, and he couldn’t do it alone. He got in his car and drove straight to 300 Fox Way, keeping an eye out for a white Mitsubishi.

The wind seemed to pick up as Adam walked up Blue’s driveway, and every whisper of it in the trees made him jump as though Kavinsky was following him.

Maura answered before he could knock, “Adam, nice to see you.”

“You, too,” Adam said, not worrying about his Henrietta accent as much as he usually did. “Is Blue in?”

“Bloo-oo-oo,” Maura sang, dancing to the bottom of the stairs. Adam wondered if the cackling laughter from the kitchen was related to Maura’s singing. She called up the stairs, “One of your Raven Boys is here, but you’ll have to come down to see which one.”

Blue appeared at the top of the stairs and glowered at her mother, “They’re not _my_ Raven Boys.”

“Well, they’re certainly not mine,” Maura said.

Blue came down the stairs, still frowning at Maura. When she saw it was Adam at the door, she gave him a small smile. She was still embarrassed about Kavinsky’s words at Nino’s. Adam knew how she felt, he could still feel Kavinsky’s breath on his cheek.

“Hi Adam,” Blue said, “What’s up?”

Maura peered over Blue’s head, “I think he needs help with Cabeswater.”

“Lots of help!” Calla’s voice shouted from the kitchen.

Blue’s frown deepened, Ronan would have been proud. Maura smiled placidly in the face of her daughter’s fury.

“Don’t be too late,” Maura said, then she jogged off to join the screeching laughter from the kitchen.

Blue rolled her eyes, “Sorry. Is it Cabeswater?”

“Yeah, are you free? It wants-” Adam almost bowed under the sudden barrage of images Cabeswater sent to him, “-a lot of help.”

Blue followed him to his car and climbed into the front seat. Adam had been expecting Noah to materialise in the back seat, and so wasn’t surprised when Noah’s eyes met his in the rear-view mirror.

“Hi, Noah,” Blue said.

Noah’s presence brought the temperature inside the car down a good few degrees. Blue shivered, Adam’s hands were cold on the steering wheel. The car didn’t have working heating, they would just have to shiver.

“What’s the plan?” Noah asked, leaning between the front seats to look at Adam.

“Cabeswater wants me to build… something,” Adam said.

“Something?” Blue prompted.

“I don’t know what yet,” Adam admitted.

“So, it’s a night of moving stones, then?” Blue asked, not unkindly. She actually seemed very into the idea of moving stones for a magical forest that communicated through Adam.

Adam felt himself relax. It was easier to forget about Kavinsky and Ronan when he was with Blue and Noah and actively trying to help Cabeswater. He pressed play on the cassette player on his dashboard.

“Exactly that,” Adam smiled.


	6. Fuck Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight non-con elements in this chapter, here's your warning. Also, a kind-of character death, which is also another warning.

When Ronan pulled up to Boyd’s Garage, he hadn’t been expecting to see Kavinsky’s car. It was pressed bonnet to boot against Adam’s car, in an overly-suggestive gesture that made Ronan want to crash the BMW into it. Kavinsky stepped out of the garage, a wide grin on his face that Ronan could see from the other side of the road.

Whether Kavinsky had seen the BMW was unclear, as he spun to pin Adam up against the door. Ronan’s hands clenched on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white with the effort. He couldn’t tell what was being said, he hoped Kavinsky wasn’t revealing Ronan’s secrets.

Kavinsky pulled away from Adam and left the car park. He drove past the BMW and flashed his lights, blinding Ronan for a second. Ronan clenched his teeth and watched Adam. He stayed pressed up against the door long after the Mitsubishi had disappeared.

Ronan didn’t make his presence known. Adam locked the door to the garage and climbed into his car. Ronan started the BMW and drove off before Adam noticed him.

That night, as he dreamt, he waited in Cabeswater for Kavinsky. He knew he’d show, it was just a matter of time. Ronan lay on the soft grass and moss of the forest floor, letting the sun shine on him. He lifted on arm and flung it over his eyes.

He wanted to dream Adam here, or Gansey, or Blue, or Noah. He wanted them to show, but he had to keep the intention out of his head. The dream versions of his friends would just be more fuel to the fire that was Kavinsky.

He heard footsteps through the forest. He didn’t need to remove his arm to know who it was. Kavinsky sat by Ronan, close enough to press his knee against his.

“Parrish?” Kavinsky asked, with outright disgust, “Fucking Parrish? He’s so fucking poor he can’t even afford to pay attention.”

“Fucking hilarious,” Ronan said monotonously, “How long did it take you to think of that?”

“I thought of it when he was admiring the love bite you gave me.”

Ronan pulled his arm away from his eyes. Sure enough, Kavinsky sported a red love bite on his neck. Ronan hadn’t given it to him. Either Kavinsky had enlisted one of his friends to do the deed, or the fucking pervert had just dreamt it up himself. Ronan flung his arm over his eyes again, blocking Kavinsky from view.

“Seriously,” Kavinsky said, his voice louder as he leaned closer, “He’s trailer park trash. My balls are worth more than his car.”

“It’s not about money, man!” Ronan sat up quickly, glaring at Kavinsky. He didn’t get it. He would never get it. Ronan didn’t care about Adam’s financial situation, Ronan had enough money to avoid ever working a day in his life. And if that ran out, he could just dream himself a full bank account.

He didn’t love Adam for the things he had, he loved him for what he was. He loved his fair hair and delicate features. He loved him for his fragile looks and his solid personality. He was strong, constant, _real_. He was everything Ronan failed to be, and he made Ronan feel more Ronan. He felt better in his skin, he felt happier, he could believe in the world when Adam Parrish was in it.

Kavinsky made Ronan feel like shit. He made him feel chaotic and lost and desperate. He made Ronan want to blow something up and scream and crash his BMW into a white Mitsubishi with a knife graphic.

Kavinsky made Ronan destructive. Adam made Ronan believe.

“Oh, I get it,” Kavinsky said, even though he didn’t. He never would. “It’s a sugar daddy thing. Tell me what he does for a dollar.”

“Fuck off,” Ronan said.

“I’m growing tired of that response,” Kavinsky beheaded a daisy with his hand, “Just fucking grow up and tell me what Adam’s dick tastes like.”

Ronan stood up and stalked off. Cabeswater was shivery around him, it didn’t like Kavinsky being here. It remembered last time. Ronan heard the trees whisper, they asked him why he allowed this thief to walk amongst them.

“Is Parrish even a friend of Dorothy?” Kavinsky asked, kicking the head off another flower.

“What?” Ronan asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Or is he a switch-hitter?” Kavinsky asked.

“What?” Ronan repeated. The trees weren’t happy with Kavinsky being here, they wanted him gone. It wouldn’t be long before they sent a nightmare to do their dirty work.

“I’m asking if you’re fucking delusional or if you’ll actually suck his cock one day,” Kavinsky explained.

“What the fuck are you on about?” Ronan demanded.

“Jesus fucking Christ. I’m asking if Adam’s straight, you dumb fuck,” Kavinsky spat.

Ronan wasn’t sure. Sometimes he thought Adam was looking back at him, and had been for months. There were times when Ronan brushed his knuckles against Adam’s hand and Adam didn’t pull away. He didn’t protest as hard as he could when Ronan stretched his legs into his lap or used him as a pillow in the back of the Pig.

Other times he thought Adam still loved Blue. He watched the unsubtle looks between Gansey and Blue with obvious envy.

And other times, in the darkest part of his mind, Ronan thought Adam Parrish was so starved for love that he’d love anyone who loved him. Ronan didn’t want to be just anyone. He wanted to be loved back, not for the love he gave but because Adam loved him too.

“Aw,” Kavinsky pouted, “Do I detect a little broken heart in your chest?”

“Fuck off,” Ronan said.

“You know, when you say that, I just hear _fuck me._ ”

Kavinsky pushed Ronan up against a tree. The rough bark scratched at his back. Before Ronan could push him off, Kavinsky had pressed their mouths together in a rough kiss.

Part of Ronan wanted to give in. He was curious about what a night with Kavinsky would entail. Would it be as rough as this kiss, or would it be surprisingly gentle? Kavinsky pushed his hands under Ronan’s t-shirt, snatching at his hips. His teeth sank into Ronan’s lower lip.

Ronan shoved him off, “Enough! I’m sick of this game.”

Kavinsky pushed his hips against Ronan, sliding his thigh between his legs. His hands seized the back of Ronan’s neck.

“Me too. So why don’t you cut the crap and stop playing so hard to get?”

Kavinsky’s thigh rubbed against Ronan, firm and frustratingly enjoyable. Again, Ronan felt the urge to give in. It would be easier. He knew Kavinsky liked him and Adam was still just a possibility and not a reality.

Kavinsky sensed Ronan’s resolve crumbling, and ran his hands down Ronan’s neck, shoulders, chest. He unpopped the button of Ronan’s jeans.

The trees whispered furiously but Ronan couldn’t make out words any longer. Kavinsky ground against him, his breath was hot on his neck.

Ronan caught himself before he let himself go fully. He knew Kavinsky wanted him, and part of him wanted to give over to that desire. But a bigger part of him knew that the smallest possibility of Adam was better than the complete certainty of Kavinsky.

Ronan gripped Kavinsky’s shoulders and pushed him away, keeping him firm at arms length. Anger flashed through Kavinsky’s features, and Ronan had a flashback to the very same look on his face at the Fourth of July party. Ronan was breathless.

“Let me show you something, Lynch,” Kavinsky walked off.

“K, man, come on,” Ronan jogged to catch up to him. He didn’t want Kavinsky to be his enemy again. Kavinsky had almost died last time, and Ronan couldn’t guarantee he’d save him again. He thought of the upset look on Blue’s face, the red splotches on Adam’s cheeks, the quiet, polite fury of Gansey.

Kavinsky wouldn’t survive another fight with Ronan.

Kavinsky lead him to a clearing in the forest. Ronan slammed to a stop. The clearing itself wasn’t special, it was what it contained that made Ronan feel sick.

There were twenty versions of him, each one in varying states of undress, in the clearing. None of them moved, none of them breathed, but Ronan knew that if Kavinsky willed it, they’d do whatever he asked.

“What the fuck, man?” Ronan asked.

“I’ve been dreaming them since the Fourth of July,” Kavinsky said, proudly. He brushed his fingers down the cheek of the closest dream Ronan, “They’ll do whatever I ask. Wanna see?”

“No,” Ronan grabbed Kavinsky’s wrist, “Stop this. You’re losing it. You’re going to kill yourself.”

“Living is overrated,” Kavinsky said.

“Dying’s a boring side effect,” Ronan said.

Kavinsky huffed out a laugh, “Who said that? Shakespeare? Very poetic.”

“Stop it,” Ronan was surprised to hear himself begging, “Please, man, come on.”

Kavinsky patted Ronan’s cheek twice, “No.”

Ronan realised it was the same cycle he’d already been through. Kavinsky would try to win him over, Ronan would reject him, Kavinsky would go nuclear and try to destroy them both. There was no escape.

And now Adam was involved.

Ronan looked to the closest dreamt version of himself. He imagined it falling to the ground, twitching as death overtook it. As soon as he’d willed it, Cabeswater obliged. Kavinsky watched his plaything die.

Ronan killed the next one, and the next. He willed them all to death, watching himself fall to the ground and die dozens of times over.

“Stop it!” Kavinsky shouted, “Stop fucking breaking my toys.”

“Stop fucking dreaming of me.”

Ronan killed more and more versions of himself. He could kill them faster than Kavinsky could dream them.

Kavinsky left before the last one fell. Ronan looked over the clearing filled with twenty versions of his dead body. He couldn’t help but feel this was a sign. He didn’t need 300 Fox Way to see his future.


	7. Disappearing Act

After the weird days he’d been having, Adam was glad to be back in the Pig listening to Noah’s nonsense. He was sat between Noah and Ronan in the back seat, Blue had beaten Ronan to the front seat and he scowled at the back of her head.

For once, Ronan didn’t touch Adam at all. He kept a good inch of space between them, as though the very thought of accidentally touching repulsed him. Now that Kavinsky was back, Ronan was probably getting touched more than he needed.

Adam ached to close the gap. He wanted to press his chest against Ronan’s and feel his heartbeat, and find out, once and for all, whether Ronan liked him or not. He shut his eyes, and tried to control his thoughts.

Ronan looked particularly Ronan today. He was dressed all in black, the sharp edges of his tattoo poked out of his collar like a warning. He wore an aggressive grin, like he’d won a war no one else knew about.

“And then we get a cat, and call it Pepsi-cola,” Noah said.

“Why not Coca-cola?” Blue asked, twisting in the front seat to look at Noah.

“Or Iced Tea,” Gansey offered.

“No,” Blue and Noah said at the same time.

Adam could feel the ley line pulsing beneath the road as they drove. It thrummed with the beat of his heart, stretched onwards forever. It made him feel brave. He opened his legs slightly, brushing his knee against Ronan.

“Go left,” he said, Gansey obliged.

Ronan didn’t pull away. He glanced at Adam, but Adam didn’t look at him. Ronan’s gaze felt different to Kavinsky’s devouring looks. It admired him where Kavinsky’s judged. It memorised him where Kavinsky’s shrugged him off.

Or maybe Adam was letting himself become hopeful.

“Aren’t cats scared of you, ghostboy?” Ronan asked. He shifted, closing the gap between himself and Adam. They were pressed together shoulder to knee. Adam wanted to tilt his head to the side, to rest it on Ronan’s shoulder. He wanted Ronan’s hand to settle on his thigh.

Adam didn’t push his luck.

Noah pouted, “We’ll find one that isn’t.”

“Here!” Adam said, making Gansey brake hard.

Cabeswater had been pulling him here. It was the third site that needed fixing. Adam still couldn’t tell what Cabeswater was asking him to do. Each place needed something removing, something rearranged, but Adam couldn’t see the big picture.

They climbed out of the car, and Adam shut his eyes. He could feel the others watching him, waiting for his direction, but he needed Cabeswater to tell him what to do first. Cabeswater reached out to him and he opened his mind to it.

It sent him images to explain what it wanted. When he reopened his eyes, he saw the fallen tree that needed to be moved. Ronan followed his gaze.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” he said.

“We need to move it from there to...” Adam walked around the space. They were stood in the garden of an abandoned house. The house itself was condemned, and of no interest to them. The ley line only ran through the garden and the dead tree needed to be moved to correct its course. Adam reached a hole in the fence line, “Here.”

“Are we repairing the fence?” Blue asked, coming to stand by Adam.

“I think so.” Adam shook his head to arrange his thoughts, “I think I’m building a barrier.”

“The other night when we moved those stones for two hours?” Blue asked.

“That was diverting the ley line’s flow,” Adam said, as though he knew what he was talking about. He had a vague idea of what he was doing, but he sometimes felt like he was just a puppet on Cabeswater’s strings. His head was empty while his hands did the work.

Gansey kicked the dead tree, testing the weight. It didn’t shift.

“Is Cabeswater trying to protect itself?” He flicked a glance at Ronan, “From Kavinsky?”

Ronan didn’t say anything, he ran his hand over a line of fungi on the tree.

“I don’t know,” Adam said. He didn’t _know,_ but he did _think_ that was what Cabeswater was doing. He had felt it building up in his head, Kavinsky was planning something with Cabeswater. He suspected it had something to do with the fire behind Ronan’s eyes.

Ronan bent down and pushed against the tree. When it didn’t budge, he stood back up, “Fuck! Parrish, you can do this alone.”

“No, he can’t,” Gansey said, “We’re all here, we can move this together.”

“I wasn’t made for hard labour,” Ronan said, sitting on the tree.

“You want to be a farmer,” Adam pointed out.

“Fuck off, Parrish,” Ronan said, not unkindly.

A breeze flew over them. Adam noticed that Noah hadn’t followed them out of the car. A quick glance at the Pig told him Noah had disappeared completely, though he was sure no one would be able to pinpoint exactly when. He joined Ronan by the tree. Ronan stood up off the trunk and they stood shoulder-to-shoulder to admire the tree they somehow had to move. It was remarkable, really, that with all the space in the garden, Ronan still stood close enough to Adam to bump their shoulders together.

If Adam could just forget about Kavinsky, he’d be able to believe Ronan really did like him.

“Can we roll it?” Blue asked, joining the two of them.

Adam shrugged, “Maybe?”

The four of them bent down and pushed against the tree. It rocked forward and Adam grunted with the effort. They pushed together and it rolled over once, before slowing to a halt. Blue let out a long breath, Gansey wiped his hands on his khakis, Ronan stretched his back.

“Fuck this,” Ronan said.

“We need to protect Cabeswater from Kavinsky,” Blue said. She narrowed her eyes at him, voice dripping with annoyance, “Or maybe you can handle that yourself?”

A dark look flashed over Ronan’s face. Adam braced himself for whatever acidic response Ronan was going to shoot at her. Blue would argue back. Gansey would have to get involved. The four of them would split and this tree wouldn’t get moved.

Blue looked at the ground, “Sorry.”

Ronan didn’t quite relax. He watched her tentatively, as though her apology was a trap.

“I just hate him,” Blue looked over to the broken fence.

Ronan crossed towards her. He patted her head, “He’s a piece of shit.”

Blue ducked from under his hand, “Let’s just move this thing.”

Adam couldn’t keep his eyes off Ronan’s hands pressed against the rough bark of the tree.

They managed to roll the trunk closer to the fence. They only had about half a metre left. They paused for a break. The sun seemed intent on roasting them alive. Adam was sweating.

“Okay,” Adam said, panting, “Last bit.”

He braced his hands against the trunk. His friends joined him. Gansey counted them down. On one, they pushed. The tree rolled into the gap. Cabeswater disappeared from Adam’s head and he fell.

On the way down, Adam’s head smacked against the trunk. Ronan’s hand brushed his arm but didn’t manage to catch him. Adam hit the ground, and the sky winked out.

“Parrish,” Ronan crouched over him and tapped his cheek. Adam opened his eyes to a fuzzy world. “Parrish, man, get up.”

Gansey and Ronan helped Adam into a sitting position, letting him lean against the trunk. Adam’s vision eased back to normal, but his hands didn’t stop shaking. Blue looked at him with concern, and swiped his head with her thumb. He saw a smear of blood come off on her skin. Heat spread over his forehead.

His heart was beating rapidly, he couldn’t catch his breath. Cabeswater was gone. His head felt empty and abandoned.

“What happened?” Gansey asked.

“Cabeswater’s gone.”

Everyone looked at Ronan, who scowled back at them, “It’s nothing to do with me.”

“We need to go stop Kavinsky,” Blue said. Gansey nodded in agreement.

“No,” Adam said, rubbing his head, his fingers coming back red. “We need to keep aligning. Cabeswater can’t protect itself without us.”

Ronan helped Adam to his feet. There was a moment when their hands met and the world exploded in Adam’s head. He felt woozy. He braced his hands on the trunk again, to keep himself upright.

He looked at the tree trunk, which sat perfectly in the gap in the fence line. It completed the fence. Adam’s mind chugged behind him, but slowly he realised what had happened, where Cabeswater had gone.

“We need to move it back,” he said.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Ronan said.

“Just a bit...” Adam was panting with the effort of standing up. Had Cabeswater always carried this much of his weight? Had Cabeswater always helped him see?

“We need to open the gap.”

No one questioned him. At this point, Adam was sure they just wanted to go home. They clambered ungracefully over the tree trunk onto the other side. Again, they pressed their hands on the trunk, but this time they focused on one end. They only needed to open the fence line a little, not completely.

They heaved when Gansey counted down and the tree rolled slightly, opening the gap minutely. Adam felt Cabeswater surge back into his head, stronger than a moment ago. His hands stopped shaking, his heart slowed down, the world settled. He sank to the ground, sitting amongst the overgrown grass and weeds.

Gansey wiped the sweat off his face, “Where to now, Magician?”

Ronan dabbed a few drops of blood off Adam’s head. His fingers left a trail of fire on Adam’s skin. Ronan seemed to realise what he was doing a second too late, and stood up quickly, swiping his hand on his jeans to clean it.

“Everyone back in the Pig,” Adam said. Cabeswater was already sending him the next directions.


	8. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember when I said there were some small non-con elements in this? yeah...

Adam was exhausted. After their day of moving logs, and stones, and digging fence posts further into the ground, the mood in the Pig was subdued. They were all dirty, and scratched, and exhausted. They dropped Blue off first, and Noah followed her to the door. The rest of them headed back to Monmouth. Adam had parked the Shitbox there, and he had to pick it up before he went home.

Adam’s head lolled to the side, his eyes drifted closed. He jerked awake when he met Ronan’s shoulder. He looked up, embarrassed, and Ronan regarded him. There was something melancholic about his eyes, Adam brushed his hand against Ronan’s, before shifting across into Noah’s vacated seat.

They pulled into Monmouth’s car park. The Pig’s light bounced off the BMW and the Shitbox parked side-by-side. Gansey shut off the engine and yawned. They all climbed out of the Camaro. It was late, too late for Adam to still be awake, especially since it was a school night.

Gansey bumped his fist, “See you tomorrow.”

Adam nodded through his own yawn. Ronan looked like he wanted to say something, but he never did. He followed Gansey into Monmouth, only casting a look back at Adam once.

Adam headed to his car. He contemplated just sleeping in it tonight instead of going home. He slapped his cheek to wake himself up for the ride.

The person sat on his car bonnet turned when Adam reached the car door.

“Parrish,” Kavinsky said.

“What?” Adam yelped, jumping out of his skin. “Have you been sat there all night?”

“I’ll be honest,” Kavinsky slid smoothly off the car, “I thought you were inside with Ronan.”

He walked over to Adam, pressing him up against Ronan’s BMW. The metal was cold against Adam’s back, Kavinsky’s body was warm.

“I’m disappointed to learn you weren’t fucking each other senseless,” Kavinsky said.

“What?” Adam spluttered again. Heat rushed up his neck and into his cheeks. He begged his body not to betray him, tried to keep the thought of fucking Ronan senseless out of his head.

“I’ve grown bored of our game, Adam.”

“ _Our_ game?” Adam said, still caught on Kavinsky’s last sentence. “I was never involved in this.”

Kavinsky’s hips pushed against Adam. Adam gripped the door handle of the BMW, wanting to melt into the car to escape. Kavinsky smelt like stale beer and sweet smoke. The smell overtook Adam, overwhelming him.

“Why are you doing this, Kavinsky?” Adam couldn’t escape, his only hope was defending himself. Exhaustion threatened to drag him down, but Kavinsky kept him held up. “What’s the fucking point? Are you just doing this to be a dick? Using me as a pawn in your game with Ronan?”

“Pretty much,” Kavinsky admitted. His sunglasses reflected the street lamps, “Ronan wants you, so I’m going to have you instead.”

Adam’s heart clenched. Ronan wanted him. That couldn’t possibly be true. Kavinsky was playing a game, he was just toying with him for sport.

But Adam thought of his hand brushing against Ronan’s, and the delicate way he’d wiped blood off his forehead. He thought of the melancholic look on Ronan’s face when Adam almost fell asleep on his shoulder.

Maybe Ronan really did like him.

“What?” Adam whispered, surprised by how quiet his voice was.

“Jesus Christ! You’re so fucking stupid,” Kavinsky snapped, his nails sank into Adam’s arms, “You can’t really be that fucking oblivious. He wants to fucking get on his knees and worship you, and I can’t let that happen. So I have to have you instead.”

Adam wasn’t sure if it was the exhaustion, or if Kavinsky really was crazy. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I always get what I want.”

Kavinsky kissed Adam. Adam froze under his mouth, shock made his spine snap straight. The knowledge that Joseph Kavinsky was his first kiss made sickness pool in his stomach. Kavinsky’s tongue pushed between Adam’s closed lips. He shoved his tongue and the taste of beer into Adam’s mouth. Kavinsky pressed closer to Adam, almost painfully so.

* * *

Ronan hadn’t heard the Shitbox start up, that was why he’d come down. He’d wanted to see if Adam was having car trouble, and offer him a lift home. He saw why Adam hadn’t left when he stepped back into the car park of Monmouth. Kavinsky had Adam pressed up against the BMW – _his BMW –_ and his mouth latched onto his.

Black anger crawled up Ronan’s throat. He marched over to Kavinsky and yanked him away from Adam. His fist connected with his mouth. Kavinsky hit the floor. He laughed perversely, and swiped the blood off his lips.

He stood up, “You punch like a fucking girl, Lynch.”

Ronan punched him again. His head snapped to the right but he managed to stay standing up. Adam hadn’t moved from the BMW, he had his hand pressed to his mouth, looking like he was holding back a shout, or vomit. Kavinsky swung at Ronan but he was drunk and aimless. Ronan stepped out of reach neatly.

“I’ll dream about that kiss tonight,” Kavinsky said, his slurred words were surprisingly coherent, “You can join me if you want.”

Ronan tackled him. They crashed to the floor and skidded across the gravel, scraping the skin off Ronan’s forearm. Ronan pulled his fist back and sent it into Kavinsky’s nose. He felt the dirty crunch of bone under his knuckles.

“Ronan, stop it!” Gansey shouted.

Ronan ignored him. All he could see was Adam pressed up against his BMW, Kavinsky’s body holding him prone and trapped. He punched Kavinsky again. Kavinsky laughed, splattering blood on Ronan’s t-shirt.

“Fuck yes, Ronan,” Kavinsky said. “This is what I wanted all along. You on top of me, furious and half-erect.”

Ronan reared back. Kavinsky pushed upwards, throwing Ronan off balance. Kavinsky caught his shoulders and pressed his mouth to Ronan’s ear. He whispered, “Did you get off on watching me kiss him?”

Ronan shoved Kavinsky down, his head bounced off the ground. Ronan pulled his fist back, but Gansey caught it before he could punch him again. Adam’s hands grabbed his other side and Ronan was dragged off Kavinsky. Ronan wrestled out of their grip, accidentally elbowing Gansey.

Kavinsky had already gotten up and started inching away from Ronan. He couldn’t win this fight, not drunk, not sober, not ever.

“Hit me, Kavinsky,” Roman demanded. His body was thrumming, his soul was pulsing red. He wanted Kavinsky to hit him back, he wanted a fight.

“I’ll see you in my dreams, Lynch.” Kavinsky swiped his bloody lips, “You too, Parrish.”

Ronan lunged but Gansey wrapped his arms around his chest. Adam’s hand locked around his wrist. Kavinsky took in the sight before him and laughed again. He ran off before Ronan could break free.

Once Kavinsky was no longer visible, Gansey released Ronan. He paced with worry, raked his hands through his hair. Ronan stared at the splatters of blood on the gravel, at the split skin of his knuckles, at the graze across his forearm. He wished Kavinsky had landed a punch.

“What the hell was that about?” Gansey demanded.

Ronan ignored him. He unlocked the BMW and yanked the passenger door open. He stared at Adam, “Get in.”

Adam swallowed, but climbed in anyway.

“I’m taking him home,” Ronan said, walking around to the driver’s side, “Kavinsky’s going to do something, soon.”

“Ronan, wait-”

Ronan slammed the door closed and started the BMW. He reversed rapidly, and spun the BMW in a circle. He raced off down the road, watching Gansey’s figure disappear in the distance. Adam was pressed firmly into his seat, held back by the ever increasing speed of the car.

Ronan’s knuckles were stinging. He could still feel Kavinsky’s nose breaking under his fist. He knew Kavinsky was going to do something. There was no way he’d let Ronan win that easily.

His phone began to ring loudly. He ignored it. As soon as the call rang off, it started up again. It rang constantly and aggressively, buzzing in his pocket. Ronan pulled the BMW off to the side of the road, Adam grabbed the dashboard.

Ronan yanked his phone out of his pocket, already knowing it was Kavinsky calling him, already knowing it would never stop. He shoved his door open and climbed out. He launched his phone, still ringing, off into the darkness. As soon as he let it go, he felt something explode in his chest. He watched the phone fly off into the darkness until he could no longer see it. The cold night air filled the shattered cavity of his chest.

He got back in the car and shot off without checking for traffic.

In the car park by St. Agnes, Ronan got out and walked to Adam’s door. He yanked it open, “Get out.”

Adam did as he was told. Ronan walked him up to his apartment and waited impatiently for him to unlock the door. They didn’t speak. The only sound was Adam’s keys jingling in the door.

Inside the apartment, Adam locked the door and Ronan stood in the middle of the room where the ceiling was highest. When the door was locked, Adam turned to look at him. Neither of them spoke. Ronan wanted to ask if the kiss had been consensual, but he didn’t want to hear the answer either way.

Adam hovered in the doorway, unsure even though it was his apartment.

“I’m staying here tonight,” Ronan said, breaking the silence.

“Okay,” Adam said.

Right then, Ronan wanted to kiss him. He wanted to tug him close and run his fingers through his hair, and kiss him until he fell asleep.

He didn’t though. He couldn’t kiss him so soon after Kavinsky. He couldn’t be associated with that kiss.

Ronan sat on the floor at the end of Adam’s bed, settling in for a very awake night. Adam went into the bathroom. Ronan listened to the quiet sounds of Adam’s apartment, and tried to drown out the image of Kavinsky on Adam like a leach.

Adam came back out. His eyes were bleary and tired. He climbed into bed, but didn’t turn the light off.

“You don’t have to sit on the floor,” he said.

Ronan didn’t move immediately. He left enough time for Adam to take back what he’d said. When he didn’t say anything more, Ronan stood up. Adam was sat up, his pillows supporting him. He only had a single bed, but he’d managed to leave enough room for Ronan to sit next to him.

They bumped shoulders, familiar and close. Ronan didn’t look at Adam, because he knew how close their faces would be, how easy it would be to kiss him.

Ronan squeezed his eyes closed, and Kavinsky’s face greeted him, smiling and bloody. Adam’s head came to rest on Ronan’s shoulder, and Kavinsky’s face disappeared, replaced by Cabeswater. Ronan and Adam sat in Cabeswater, a clear pool of water in front of them. Everything was soft and sunny and peaceful. Overhead, a bird called.

Ronan opened his eyes. Adam was asleep already, the exhaustion of the day settling on him heavily. Ronan rested his head on Adam’s. He fully intended to stay awake all night, but it didn’t work out that way.


	9. The King's Death

Adam woke up unable to breathe. His throat was tight, his lungs screamed. For one heart-stopping moment he couldn’t suck in a breath. Ronan was instantly awake and clutching at Adam’s t-shirt. Adam choked, and then reality came whizzing back and he could breathe. Cabeswater was gone.

“Cabeswater’s gone,” Adam gasped, grabbing at Ronan’s hands still holding him.

Ronan didn’t need Adam to repeat himself. He was up and ready to go in a second, awareness slamming into him like a shot of caffeine. It took Adam a lot longer to gather the pieces of himself together. It was different this time. The ley line wasn’t blocked like with the tree trunk, it was drained. He couldn’t feel it pulsing around him, there was just… nothing.

“Kavinsky,” Adam said.

Ronan nodded solemnly. Adam pulled a pair of jeans on, not bothering to change out of his ratty pyjama top, and shoved his feet into his trainers. Ronan caught his wrist when he staggered and they ran down the stairs and out into the car park. Adam and Ronan got into the BMW. Noah was in the back seat.

“Is it time?” he asked. He was wavering and blurring at the edges. The air in the BMW dropped, Adam couldn’t feel his toes. Noah was taken a lot of energy to stay present.

“Get Gansey, then Blue. Take them to the fallen tree, the one we rolled by the fence,” Adam looked at Noah to make sure he understood. When Noah nodded, Adam continued, “On my signal, they need to move the log, just a bit, to close the gap.”

“What are you planning, Parrish?” Ronan asked when Noah went off to do as he was told.

Adam didn’t answer. He placed one hand on the car door and one of the dashboard, and closed his eyes. His mind searched for the ley line, he knew it should be under the car, thrumming under the road. He needed Cabeswater back for his plan to work.

Cabeswater wasn’t responding to him. The ley line was too weak for him to feel. Kavinsky had done something big. Adam looked to Ronan, who was driving confidently. He flew past the few cars still on the road this late at night, his brow tensed with determination.

“Do you know where he is?” Adam asked.

“I have a feeling,” Ronan said.

Adam watched the needle on the speedometer glide upwards. He was pressed back in his seat, just like last night when Ronan had driven him home. Adam’s chest was filled with a confusing mixture of fear and arousal. He loved this Ronan, dangerous and determined. His anger had a purpose and Adam was into it.

Ronan pulled the BMW off to the side of the road and climbed out of the car. Adam followed him. He grabbed Ronan’s hand to avoid falling when Cabeswater surged back to life inside him. Adam squeezed Ronan’s palm, his heart rocketing into high-speed. Cabeswater shook violently. It was barely holding on. Kavinsky had stopped dreaming.

“Hurry,” Adam said.

Ronan pulled Adam forward. They entered a clearing that Adam could only describe as a car graveyard. A hundred versions of the infamous white Mitsubishi stood like sentinels in the darkness. Dotted amongst the white cars, were a few bright orange Camaros. There was even one dark grey BMW waiting for its owner. Ronan’s face darkened as he took in their surroundings.

“What is this place?” Adam asked.

Ronan stared forward, “This is where I died.”

Adam knew Ronan never lied. He shivered. Ronan, sure and steady, pulled Adam between the cars. He seemed to know exactly where to find Kavinsky, and Adam trusted him.

They halted when they saw Kavinsky. He sat on a Mitsubishi like a King on top of his throne, backlit by headlights from the cars behind. He glowed pure white.

Scattered around the car were dozens of mutilated versions of Ronan. Adam pressed his free hand to his mouth, bile crawled up his throat. Here was Ronan, his throat cut. There was another Ronan, his eyes glassy and unseeing. There, another, bound in ropes and choked.

“Jesus,” Adam whispered.

“You took your time,” Kavinsky said, uncrossing his legs and letting them dangling over the windscreen, “Did you forget the way to our special place, Ronan? I’m hurt.”

“Why did you do this?” Ronan demanded. He dropped Adam’s hand and the cold air rushed into the space he’d left in Adam’s palm. Ronan gestured at the closest version of himself, anger laced his voice, “This is fucked.”

“What did you expect?” Kavinsky shot back, his own anger a dangerous thing to hear, “You broke my fucking toys.”

“Stop it, K, stop it,” Ronan begged. He sounded worried, terrified. Adam had never seen him like this, so close to unravelling. The two of them were tangled up in this game, and they were pulling each other apart.

Kavinsky jumped off the car. His trainers kicked up dust when he landed. “I won’t.”

He walked to a dreamt Ronan and placed his trainer over the dead thing’s face, “I’m going to make you look like this.” He stepped to the next one and pointed, “Or maybe this.”

Cabeswater was stronger beneath him, pooled under this spot. Adam suddenly knew what Cabeswater had been making him do now. He could see the big picture. He just had to wait for the right time.

Noah’s voice was more of a feeling down Adam’s spine than an actual sound, “Ready.”

“Stop it, Kavinsky,” Ronan said, reaching for Kavinsky pleadingly. He dropped his outstretched hand. Adam watched it fall back to his side. “You almost died last time. You can’t kill me!”

“Maybe, maybe not,” Kavinsky shrugged. He tilted his head towards Adam, “But I can kill him.”

Kavinsky threw a pill into his mouth before Ronan could grab him. He fell to the ground, joining the dead, and Ronan collapsed after him. He slapped Kavinsky’s cheek, pried open his eyelids, but Kavinsky was gone.

Ronan ran to Adam, scrabbling at his hand and trying to pull him away. Adam stayed firm, watching Kavinsky’s prone body. He had to wait for the right moment. Cabeswater would tell him.

“Adam, you need to go. Just run, I can deal with him,” Ronan begged.

Adam had never seen Ronan like this. He was so raw, so exposed. He was desperate to see Adam safe, and Adam knew how he felt. He wasn’t going to leave Ronan until Kavinsky had been dealt with.

Adam squeezed Ronan’s hand and then let him go. He crouched into a runner’s starting position, his fingers splayed on the dirt. The earth pulsed beneath him.

“Adam, _fucking leave,”_ Ronan demanded.

Adam didn’t shift. He searched for the ley line. There was a neat curl of ley line below this car graveyard. No wonder Kavinsky had chosen here to dream, it was the strongest connection to the line, not including Cabeswater. It could fuel a thousand dreamers. Adam felt goosebumps raise on his arms.

“Now?” Noah’s voice brushed against Adam’s ear.

“Now,” Adam said.

He knew Noah was gone. Ronan paced next to him. Adam could feel the ley line squeeze closed as Blue and Gansey pushed the log into the space again. The pressure increased, like someone holding a thumb over the top of a hose, then it stopped altogether.

“Parrish!” Ronan shouted, growing impatient, “Fucking get out of here!”

Adam felt the energy of the ley line disappear. He felt dizzy as the world tilted beneath him. His blood flowed backwards in his veins, or was that the ley line? He couldn’t tell. He stood on shaky legs, Ronan seized him, prepared to drag him away. But then Kavinsky woke.

“What did you do?” Ronan hissed in Adam’s ear. Then, angrier, he spoke to Kavinsky, “What the fuck did you bring?”

“Fuck all,” Kavinsky spat on the ground, “When I got there, there was fucking nothing.”

His eyes narrowed on Adam, who was still caught in Ronan’s grip. Adam looked back at him, unafraid, unbroken.

“Fucking Parrish,” Kavinsky said, “You cut me off.”

“Cabeswater is protected,” Adam said, shaking free of Ronan’s grip. He stepped towards Kavinsky, “I won’t let you steal from it again.”

Kavinsky scoffed, “And who are _you_ to stop _me_?”

Cabeswater shuddered angrily in Adam’s head. He saw green leaves and lightning sparking in the sky. Kavinsky took a step back.

“Cabeswater is protected,” Adam repeated. He nodded his head to Ronan, “Not just by me.”

Adam couldn’t protect Cabeswater completely. If Kavinsky moved the trunk or followed the ley line, he’d find a new dreaming spot. He’d always find a way to dream. But both Adam and Kavinsky knew this wasn’t really about Cabeswater, or even the ley line.

This was about Ronan Lynch, and Adam protected him, too.

Adam turned back to Ronan and took the BMW keys out of his hand, his fingers brushed his palm. Then he left, and headed back for the car, leaving Ronan and Kavinsky alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second to last chapter uploaded! we're drawing to a close, people!


	10. Hungry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

Ronan let Adam go. Kavinsky watched him disappear through the cars. Only when Adam was out of earshot did Ronan speak.

“Come with me,” he said.

“No,” Kavinsky said.

“K, it doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to be the only one in my life,” Ronan said, he took a step forward.

“Fuck you,” Kavinsky said, softly, “Your boyfriend’s waiting for you.”

“He’s not-” Ronan stopped. It didn’t matter what he said. He had chosen Adam the moment he’d shown up here with him. As far as Kavinsky was concerned, Adam would always come first.

This hadn’t been an act of war, bringing all of these dead Ronans into reality. This had been a test. Kavinsky wanted Ronan, but Ronan had chosen Adam. After all, he’d been in Adam’s bed when Kavinsky had dreamt all of this up.

The car graveyard was quiet, eerily so. It felt haunted and heavy with the past. Ronan could remember falling asleep on these cars and dreaming again and again. He could remember Kavinsky placing pills on his tongue, and tracing his tattoo, and pouring beer into his mouth. He could remember almost killing himself here.

“What are you going to do?” Ronan asked.

Kavinsky shrugged, “I’m not going to kill you if that’s what you’re worried about.” At the look on Ronan’s face, he added, “Or Parrish, or Dickdickdick, or even that little thing from Nino’s.”

“Then what?” Ronan asked.

“I don’t know, man.” He pressed the toe of his trainer into the knee of one of the Ronans on the floor, “I’ve still got my dreams.”

“That’s not a life,” Ronan said.

Kavinsky looked up at him, and grinned with pearly white teeth, “It’s the only one I’ve got.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

Kavinsky walked backwards, “You know, I’m gonna miss these conversations.”

And then he was gone, disappearing between the cars and into the darkness. Ronan stood still, waiting for him to come back. He waited for Kavinsky to reappear and threaten him, or kiss him, or tell him to fuck off. The wind picked up, slipping under his t-shirt and burying under his skin.

When he’d waited long enough, he headed back for the BMW. Adam was leaning against the passenger door when Ronan saw him. He lifted his hand in greeting and Ronan nodded his own greeting. He joined Adam by the car, standing in front of him.

Adam seemed taller, somehow, stronger. He met Ronan’s gaze confidently. He didn’t ask what he and Kavinsky had spoken about. He took a deep breath, and then reached for Ronan and pulled him close. Ronan met his mouth, and Adam pulled Ronan against him until he was pressed up against the BMW.

Ronan’s heart pounded, his hands wrapped in Adam’s hair. Adam held Ronan to him with one hand on the back of his neck and one on the small of his back. Their kiss was at once soft and hungry, spiralling into something desperate and needy. Adam sighed, Ronan felt like his heart was going to stop.

Adam’s breath was hot on his mouth, Ronan tasted his tongue. Ronan felt like he was falling, like the ground had disappeared and they were plummeting to the earth. He clutched at Adam like he was the only thing holding him to the ground, and Adam held him back just as tightly.

Adam’s leg pushed between Ronan’s, his thigh rubbing in just the right place. Ronan grunted, and pressed his hips closer. Adam threw his head back and Ronan seized on his exposed throat, grazing his teeth over the sensitive skin. Adam’s hands brushed Ronan’s waist, his nails sinking into his skin.

Ronan ached all over, every taste of Adam’s skin wasn’t enough, every gasp of breath from his mouth was just short of satisfying. He needed more, he needed closer, he needed less clothes. He pulled away before he lost it all right here, right by his and Kavinsky’s graveyard.

Adam moaned at the loss, his hands urging Ronan back. Ronan brushed the back of his knuckles over Adam’s cheekbone.

“Not here,” he said.

Adam got into the passenger seat. Ronan started the BMW and they drove back to St. Agnes. It took every inch of Ronan’s willpower to avoid pulling over to the side of the road and making Adam moan his name. Tension built in his shoulders the longer the drive took. His muscles were taut and aching by the time he pulled into St. Agnes’ car park.

Adam had left the door unlocked, and Ronan grabbed him on his way through. They kissed hungrily on their way into the room. Ronan kicked the door closed, and pushed Adam towards the bed. The backs of Adam’s knees hit the bed and he fell, Ronan went down with him.

Adam pulled Ronan’s t-shirt over his head. Ronan undid the button to Adam’s jeans. They kicked off their shoes, and Ronan straddled Adam. His mouth marvelled at Adam’s collarbone, as Adam’s hands trailed down his tattooed back. Ronan pushed his hand into Adam’s jeans.

“Ronan,” Adam moaned, and it sounded like _keep going._

Heat flared across Ronan’s skin, every part of him that touched Adam was on fire and burning. He wrapped his fingers around Adam’s cock, he was already semi-hard. Adam sighed and Ronan wanted to hear him moan his name again. He pulled away from Adam, enough to pull down his jeans and underwear, exposing him.

Adam threw his head back when Ronan licked the length of his cock, from base to tip.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Adam said, and it sounded obscene coming from his mouth. It made Ronan’s cock twitch in response.

Adam’s cock was a beautiful thing, and Ronan had thought of it a lot. The real thing was better than anything he could have imagined, and he wanted to unwind Adam with his mouth.

Ronan rubbed Adam’s cock with his hand, and placed kisses on the inside of his thigh. He grazed his teeth against the sensitive skin there and Adam’s thighs clenched. Ronan licked the length of his cock again, taking the head into his mouth. Ronan couldn’t believe what was happening, he swirled his tongue over the head, tasting Adam.

He dipped his head, and Adam’s hand shot out to land on the back of it. He didn’t press him deeper, but Ronan dipped his head further anyway, taking more of Adam into his mouth. Ronan used his hand to caress Adam’s balls as he took his cock as far into his mouth as he could.

Adam sighed again, “Ronan, _god._ ”

Ronan lifted up, wrapping his lips around the head, and swirling his tongue again. He’d never done this before, but he guessed by Adam’s clenched hands that he was doing well. The hardwood floors dug into Ronan’s knees, and a thrill ran down his spine when he remembered that they were above the very church Ronan worshipped in every Sunday.

Ronan dragged his nails up Adam’s thighs, and took Adam deep into his mouth again. Adam was panting and breathless, and Ronan wanted to bring him to edge and lead him over. But he also wanted Adam to fuck him. He was torn between giving Adam everything he wanted and having what he’d dreamt of for so long.

Adam’s hand clenched on the back of Ronan’s head, “Ronan, come up.”

Ronan eased up slowly, running his tongue along the vein that ran up the underside of Adam’s cock. A tendril of saliva connected his mouth to Adam when he released him. Adam watched him, admiring the hungry look on his face.

Ronan moved up and pressed his mouth to Adam’s in a kiss that was all tongue, and teeth, and desperation. Adam pushed Ronan off him and onto the bed. He climbed on top of Ronan, and Ronan felt like he was dead. Maybe Kavinsky had killed him in that graveyard and this was the afterlife.

But surely Ronan wouldn’t go to heaven.

“Are you going to fuck me, Parrish?” Ronan asked, eliciting a moan from Adam’s lips.

“Do you want that?” Adam whispered, meeting Ronan’s hungry look with one of his own.

“Yes,” Ronan said, startled by the earnestness in his own voice.

Adam undid Ronan’s jeans painfully slowly. He eased them down, keeping a good inch of space between their bodies. He exposed Ronan completely, and then pulled his own t-shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor. His apartment had never looked so unclean before, his bed had never been so messy.

Adam pressed his body against Ronan, their cocks rubbed together. It was Ronan’s turn to groan as Adam ground against him. They were hot and sweaty and panting. Adam wrapped his lovely hand around Ronan’s cock. Ronan took his other hand and brought it to his mouth. He kissed each fingertip and then the palm, as Adam’s other hand worked Ronan’s cock.

“If I’m going to fuck you,” Adam said. Ronan moaned at those words coming out of Adam Parrish’s mouth. Adam kissed Ronan and then said, “I’ll need lube.”

Ronan placed his hands on either side of Adam’s face, stilling him. His hand still worked Ronan’s cock, making Ronan’s words rush out.

“Your hand cream,” he said, breathlessly.

“Hand cream?” Adam asked, his hand stilling in his confusing.

Ronan grinned sharply, “I dreamt it, remember?”

Adam laughed and the sound vibrated around Ronan’s body. He let go of him and found the small pot of hand cream on the upside-down bin he used as a bedside table. Ronan wished that he had the condoms Kavinsky had dreamt for him. He thought of the note that had been stuck to the back of the box, _For Adam to use on Ronan._

If only he’d brought them with him. It would be a nice, final fuck you to Kavinsky.

He forgot all about Kavinsky when the smell of mist and moss met his nose. Adam dipped his fingers into the pot, and Ronan almost came from anticipation. He rolled onto his stomach, and Adam’s fingers circled his hole. Ronan was so close to finishing, but he wanted Adam to fuck him.

He moved into a better position, and Adam dipped a finger inside him. Ronan clenched around him, and clenched his jaw. Adam tentatively withdrew his finger and pushed it in again. He took it slow, and placed tender kisses along Ronan’s tattoo. Ronan rocked his hips, and Adam pushed in a second finger.

“Jesus fucking fuck, Adam,” Ronan said, when Adam’s other hand wrapped around his cock. “I need you to fuck me right fucking now.”

Adam withdrew his fingers. He braced one hand on Ronan’s hips, and pushed inside him slowly. Ronan gasped, his hands clenched in the bedsheets.

“Too much?” Adam asked, stopping.

“No,” Ronan panted, “No, more.”

Adam pushed in further, his own groan slipping from his lips. He took it slow, letting Ronan adjust. Ronan bucked his hips back against him.

“Harder?” Adam asked.

Ronan nodded, unable to speak. Adam placed one hand on Ronan’s shoulder, his other sank nails into his hip. Adam sped up, thrusting into Ronan deeper. Ronan rocked against the bed. He was very aware of the church below them, and it only served to push him closer to the edge. Adam’s cock filled him up, pressing against his prostate. He twisted his head to the side to kiss Adam’s hand on his shoulder.

Adam gasped, and grunted, and placed kisses along Ronan’s spine.

“Fuck, Adam, yes,” Ronan moaned. He couldn’t believe what was happening, he couldn’t stop saying Adam’s name, “God, _Adam_.”

Ronan wrapped a hand around his cock and pumped in time with Adam’s thrusts. Adam came first, his grip tightening on Ronan’s shoulder as he buried his cock deep inside him. Ronan came with the knowledge of Adam cumming inside him. He came into his hand.

Adam stayed inside him for a few seconds longer, his nails leaving pinpricks of pain in Ronan’s hipbone. He pulled out, and kissed Ronan’s back. Ronan’s legs were shaking with the effort of staying up and he collapsed onto the bed, rolling onto his back. He didn’t care about cleaning up, he didn’t care about anything other than seizing Adam and pulling him on top of him, and kissing him until they were both gasping for breath.

Adam flopped to the bed, his legs joining Ronan’s hanging off the side.

“I’ve never done that before,” Adam said.

“You could’ve fucking fooled me,” Ronan said. He twisted his head to look at Adam. The sweat was glistening on his skin, his hair was messy and mussed up. He looked ruined, gloriously ruined. “I’ve never done that either.”

Adam looked surprised, “Really?”

“Jesus, Parrish, who do you think I am?”

“No I just thought-” Adam stopped.

“Kavinsky,” Ronan finished for him.

“I thought over summer, you might have...” Adam couldn’t bring himself to say it, despite the fact that he’d literally just been doing it himself.

“Hell, no,” Ronan rolled over. He shoved his face into the crook between Adam’s shoulder and neck. He pressed his mouth to Adam’s shoulder, “Just you.”

Adam pulled Ronan’s face towards him. He pushed his tongue into Ronan’s mouth.

“Just you, too,” Adam said. Then he tilted his mouth and furrowed his brow, “Actually, Kavinsky was my first kiss.”

Ronan couldn’t find it in himself to be angry. He breathed out a laugh, “Mine, too.”

Adam wrinkled his face in disgust. Ronan kissed the disgust away, and then got up to clean himself off.

When he came back out of the bathroom with clean hands, Adam had pulled his underwear back on, and moved to lean against his pillows.

“What the fuck is this?” Ronan asked, gesturing his hand at Adam.

“I got cold,” Adam said. He looked at his watch on the bedside table, “Plus we only have two hours to sleep until I have to get up for school.”

“Or two hours to fuck,” Ronan offered.

“Some of us have responsibilities,” Adam said. He got under his sheets and patted the bed by his side.

“Shithead,” Ronan said, but he climbed into the bed next to Adam anyway.

There wasn’t nearly enough room for both of them. Adam and Ronan had to lie on their sides to fit. Ronan didn’t complain when Adam pressed up against him, chest to back, and wrapped an arm around him. He pressed a kiss to the back of Ronan’s neck.

“This isn’t making me very tired,” Ronan said, shifting his hips pointedly.

Adam hummed sleepily. His hand pressed against Ronan’s chest, splayed over his heartbeat.

When Ronan closed his eyes, he was in Cabeswater. Adam was lay next to him on the grass, their hands entwined between them. The sun was shining, the trees swayed in a gentle breeze. Kavinsky never came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end! Thank you so much for reading this, it was brilliant to write, and I loved reading your comments. If you liked my writing style or characterisation, check out my other TRC fics.
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> Also I'd like to point out that this is not an accurate representation of a person's first time having sex, I took a lot of liberations with it cos it's more fun.


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